Painful Sex

In general, a painful vulva (the skin folds around the outer parts of the vagina) is called vulvodynia and this can be provoked (by touch) or not. Vestibulodynia is pain on the softer mucosal tissue around the vagina. Pelvic floor dysfunction from muscle or back injuries or chronic pelvic pain can also cause pain. Dysfunction can also result from bike-riding or a lot of Kegels/ high tension exercises. Vulva skin problems, states of low estrogen (postpartum breastfeeding, peri/menopause, sometimes years of birth control pill use in some genetically predisposed women), can also cause pain. Deeper pain with intercourse can be due to endometriosis (painful periods, bladder, bowel). The Ohnut may be helpful.

It is also normal to have decreased desire (low libido) if there are pain issues, relationship concerns, hormonal changes in life transitions, stress, and lack of time. Couples counselling, or sex therapists (linked below), and/or these books Dr. Emily Nagoski’s book Come as You Are; Dr. Lori Brotto’s Better Sex Through Mindfulness can be helpful. Books by Joan Price (later life sex) and Lou Paget are also worth a browse.

It hurts when I have sex. Dr. Kirkham, The Kit

Let’s talk about sex. Women’s Health Matters

Sex in Seniors. Watch Dr Kirkham on The Zoomer (2024).

Vaginismus: a condition of involuntary muscle contractions

Ask your doctor or read about pelvic floor physiotherapy for RELAXATION exercises.

Avoid kegels!

Vulvar disorders that can cause pain. ISSVD

Vulva Diaries podcast episode, Vulvodynia

Sex therapists in Ontario

How to use vaginal dilators

Where to buy dilators in Canada:

comeasyouare.com (Fuze brand), pinkcherry.ca (Inspire brand)